None of Self, but all of Thee

I was raised in a Buddhist family. I was attracted to the Lord when I heard about God's salvation in my early teens while attending a Christian high school. I was brought to the local church when I attended a neighbor's children's home meeting. I was saved and baptized eventually at age fourteen. I believed and accepted Christ into me to be my Savior, but I had shallow knowledge: I knew that I would not go to hell when judgment day comes. At age sixteen, because of my love for the Lord, I decided to serve Him in Sunday school. I thought that if I really loved the Lord, I should do things to please Him. Later, as I got older and got into the ministry of Watchman Nee and Witness Lee, my eyes were opened. To experience and gain Christ (Phil. 3:8) is not merely doing things for Him (Heb. 11: 6), but allowing Him to work Himself into me every day that I would be filled with His life, so that His life would flow out of me. By this, I express Him in my daily life and attract people to love Him too.

Through this ministry, I realized that I shouldn't just care for my need. God also has a need and a goal. His goal is not that I would only be saved from hell, but also that I would be saved day by day (Rom. 5:10) and moment by moment from living in the self, the world, the flesh. Praise the Lord, God's goal is to work Himself into me, that He would spread from my spirit into my soul (my mind, emotion, and will) (2 Tim. 4:22), until He makes His home in my heart (Eph. 3:16), saturating and permeating my inward parts with His life and element, that my clay nature would gradually be transformed (2Cor. 3:18) into precious stone (1Cor3:12, Rev. 21:19). God does not want many separate precious stones, but He desires that these precious stones (the regenerated, transformed believers) would be built up with other believers (by denying our self and experiencing Christ and His subjective cross (Phil. 3:10, Matt. 16: 24), that Christ could terminate our opinions, concepts, ambitions and individualism). He wants all the believers to be built together into His dwelling place for His corporate expression (2 Pet. 2:5). By seeing this, the whole Bible has become clear to me. I appreciate the Bible more and more and my appetite for the Lord has been increasing everyday even until today.

When I was younger, I read the Bible by exercising my mind in order to gain Bible knowledge. I found the Bible boring because I was using the wrong organ to contact God. After reading a few verses, I would fall asleep and would not be able to go on. Instead of gaining Christ, reading the Bible was killing me (2 Cor. 3:6). Praise the Lord, through this ministry, I learned to exercise my spirit. I have learned to read God's word by calling on His name and praying while reading. I find the Bible is very nourishing and enjoyable. It is my bread of life, my life supply, my strength (John 1:1, 6:35,51). I depend on it every morning before I go on to my daily chores. I have learned to exercise my spirit all day long, I enjoy calling His name, and learning to abide in Him, by being one with Him, so I would express Him in my daily life (John 15:4,17:21-22).

It is because of this ministry that I learned that the Christian life is not a matter of teaching, improvement, adjustment or correction. The Christian life is absolutely allowing the indwelling Christ to move, work and act in me. We need to pay attention to our inner spiritual consciousness, by saying "Amen" to Him all the time, so that He would add Himself into me (Col. 2:19) with all His riches (Eph. 3:8). Through this, my inner man may grow in the divine life with the divine element. Hallelujah for this ministry! Each day, I desire the Lord to gain me more and more, to capture my heart more that I could give Him my best love, loving Him above all things (Mark 12:30) and learning to be one with Him in all things. Amen!